Building Spaces for Conversations That Matter
“Often, when we are in a group space, we think what we need is a teaching moment, when what we actually need is relationship” ~Rhonda Fitzgerald, Executive Director, Sustained Dialogue
Rhonda Fitzgerald has always been deeply curious about questions related to race, identity, and belonging. As a first-year student on the Princeton University campus, many of those questions were at the forefront: “How do people perceive people from public schools? How do people perceive Black women? Why are there so many tall people here?” She had many strong feelings and, up until that point in her life, had always approached these questions from a debate perspective.
One day, she walked into a dining hall and met a woman of South African descent sitting with a white man from North Carolina. They shared that they were part of a discussion group that met every two weeks to talk about race.
Rhonda was immediately drawn to the group and began attending the meetings. She quickly realized that she didn’t yet have the skills to approach conversations around identity unless she was expecting an argument. It was new to her to participate in conversations where people adhered to shared agreements and genuinely listened to one another. She was expecting a fight…and didn’t get one.
The group was part of a Sustained Dialogue campus program. This was Rhonda’s first exposure to the Sustained Dialogue approach, which is built on trust and collaboration, and she was hooked. She has been involved with Sustained Dialogue ever since and now, 19 years later, serves as the Executive Director of Sustained Dialogue.
Sustained Dialogue “uses proven peace processes in order to transform how groups relate and unlock collective problem solving.” Rhonda notes how different these methods of communication are from traditional models. In the transmission model of communication, there is essentially a message, a channel, and a receiver. But this model misses an important piece—the relational one.
This relational approach acknowledges the importance of the relationship between the people communicating: “Often, when we are in a group space, we think what we need is a teaching moment, when what we actually need is relationship—for information to move through each person around the room so we can co-create an understanding together. I think that’s a really helpful way to think about the community spaces we build.”
This relational model of communication resonates deeply with Rhonda because of the culture within her family. Coming from a large Black American family, she describes a council-like structure that created a model for decision-making through dialogue. Influence within the family came from approaching conflict directly, solving problems communally, and caring generously about the needs of others. This approach helped her navigate difficult moments, including end-of-life decisions when her mother was dying.
“There are ways to talk about problems. We don’t have to pretend that there’s no conflict. We don’t have to pretend that difficult conversations always ruin a family gathering, a congregation, or a get together.”
Those experiences now inform Rhonda’s work facilitating community dialogue across a wide range of settings. Using Sustained Dialogue’s framework, she works with organizations, hospitals, agencies, and nonprofits to help groups navigate issues using an approach that acknowledges dynamics related to race, hierarchy, ethnic mistrust, disability, religion, and resource and land conflicts.
Her upcoming workshop will offer participants practical tools for creating these kinds of conversations in one-time group settings and is for anyone who is seeking greater confidence facilitating conversations that matter.
Join the Resilience Learning Community on June 11th from 12:00–1:15 PT for Facilitating Community Dialogue: A Practical Framework for One-Time Sessions. Register here.